When Anxiety Leads to Overeating!- Meditate It Out!

I have felt anxious for most of the past two weeks. When I’m nervous, one of my first reactions is to eat. This response is triggered by feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, or simply feeling low. In those moments, my craving for comfort food kicks in, and I quickly consume whatever chocolate, candy, or bread is nearby.

I have been working in another room for the past two weeks, and I found it incredibly difficult to sit still and focus. I kept getting up, convinced that I was starving, even though I know I don't truly understand what that feels like. The sensation I experienced was triggering my hunger pains, prompting me to seek an instant fix in the kitchen. It was never a matter of planning for dinner or deciding to start cooking; it was more about indulging in something quick and sugary. I often reached for easy snacks high in sugar or gluten (since gluten contains sugar) to temporarily satisfy my cravings and ease my anxiety—if only for three minutes.

I sometimes tried to drink a glass of water in between to curb the urge to binge, but the anxiety lingered. I knew that if I kept eating, I would feel even worse, yet I struggled to reason logically about it. This led me to find myself on my sixth ice cream bar of the day.

Let’s be clear: Yes, I can not buy them. Avoidance is a way to avoid overeating things that help with the instant fix, but I also give myself treats for accomplished goals, and food is the best motivator. It seems it is both ways.

Like many women, I often wish I could blame my behavior on my period or the full moon. However, I recognize that this pattern actually stems from deep-seated issues from my childhood. Secret eating is a habit that my father still engages in to this day. The pile of wrappers found in his recliner and pockets reveals where I inherited this strange trait. It’s as if I eat and then hide the chocolate so no one knows, allowing me to indulge in the guilty pleasure of sneaking food.

No matter the age, it seems childhood patterns are complex to navigate. My father grew up on a farm, and treats were a special event, holiday, or occasion only. As a result, he loves fruit pie and eating Little Debbie’s snacks in secret.

My habit comes from watching this behavior and assuming it is normal, so mimicking it as a child will be beneficial. Yeah, right! LOL, I think parents do not always realize that their children are listening and paying attention to their behavior, and in multiple mammal societies like humans, this is how young people learn.

So this week, I decided to sit in the kitchen and give that instant fix a temptation and like any emotion or need, the minute you say here you can have it, the need resolves and I sit at the table with dinner in the crock pot, blueberry cake completed and homemade naan ready to soak up the potato creole crock pot creation in style.  I didn’t eat another six ice creams, not that there are any left from the weekend, but it shows the compulsion has nothing to do with being hungry, but is the pattern designed for years to make me feel good instantly, backfire into indigestion all night.

It’s not about the food when it comes to anxiety; it’s about finding a supposed safe space that makes me think everything will be okay in the end. The real question is: Why do I experience anxiety? I often feel bored, sad, and angry. Should I go for a walk to burn off some of this energy? I have been channeling that energy into making good food, which helps create a positive response to what has recently been a cycle of negative instant gratification. However, like many other coping mechanisms, it only masks the underlying issue of my anxious nature.

I find that journaling and keeping track of my sensations allows me to work towards resolving my anxiety on a day-to-day basis. Everyone experiences anxiety. Being present in the moment—without hurrying, rushing, guilting, or shaming myself—is a difficult goal to achieve and is a daily battle in life.

 This week, finding ways to use that anxiety to create delicious meals instead of consuming pre-packaged food has been a victory, and I’ll take it.